Lately, I’ve been trying to force myself to put myself first. Usually, I’ll make sure other people are okay at any expense including my own happiness and well being. This time, I’m going to make sure I don’t get taken advantage of.
I’m here if you need me, I’m here if you dont, but if you need me, you gotta approach me.
I feel like I’ve lost my footing and have thrown my life out of its usual routine. For once in my life, I’ve taken time off for myself. The trouble is, I feel like I’m trying to make up for the years that I didn’t focus on myself and now I’m taking too much time resulting in me shirking my responsibilities and duties towards other people. Yes, time for myself I guess is good, but the fact that I can’t live just for myself remains unchanged. I can’t forget that although I should be focusing on my own happiness, my role in life has never been about me. I am what I can be for others: a friend, a sister, a mother, a daughter, a worker, a confidant, a provider. While I should not forget that if I do not take time to take care of myself, I wont be able to take care of the ones I love, I must also remember that I don’t have the luxury of living as others do: for themselves. My ties to other people are both a blessing and a burden. While I live to make others happy, which does make me happy, I find myself being put in the position of constantly being expected to remain as selfless and giving as people know me to be. So unfortunately when I take time like I have been, I upset people because I put myself before others. It’s time that I find a balance. I can’t always be there for everyone, but I can’t live like no one else is there. In the end, who I am is who I have in my life. I am who you are, and through who I am, I affect you. I’m sorry for neglecting the both of us and I’m working on finding balance again.