Better yet, just learn to invest in people who invest in me.
It’s funny how so many people live life through a game of tug of war. One person pulls, and the other slackens. The other person pulls and this person slackens. If both people pull, then no one gets anything. If no one pulls, then there is no point in the game.
Yeah, I don’t play that game anymore. I’m into a different kind of game now, a building game. One where when I put down a brick, you put one down as well. Not only that, but you add another brick. You add one, not so you can be above me, not so you can have more, but so that you can help me strengthen the structure that we’re both standing on. If I lose, so you do. If you win, so do I. Every move is structured so that the team benefits.
I’m cutting people out of my life that only seem to put in when I withdraw; only pull so I have to slacken. I’m distancing myself from people who are still trying to play tug of war when I’m trying to build my structure. I’m no longer in the horizontal way of thinking, I’m too busy going vertical.
Push through that fog, that cold, and those unfriendly and unfamiliar roads. In the end, your skyline will be made of mountaintops, your oceans made of clouds. (Taken with instagram)
She’s back!!!! #auntie #personal #sohappy #family #love (Taken with instagram)
Woke up and it hurts to breathe with that familiar heaviness in my chest. What does it mean? And why now?
A hard lesson. I’m not sure that there’s ever been anything more difficult and painful for me than learning this, but it’s necessary for my sanity and happiness I think.
I’m slowly learning to see people for who they currently are and not for who they used to be or who I hope them to eventually be. The truth is, I need to live in the now because everyone else is. By seeing people as their past or for their possibilities, I end up screwing myself over. I don’t have the capacity to do that anymore.
Mother’s Day with these crazy kids! #family #personal #mothersday #sisters #love #igdaily (Taken with instagram)
We were trying to catch her sleeping.. Fail #igdaily #love #sisters #mothersday #personal #family (Taken with instagram)
They made me mothers day cards.. #personal #mothersday #sisters #love #igdaily (Taken with instagram)
Awww love note from @lovekat22 complete with a drawing of a black guy with an Afro, as well as a boba drink. Love her!! #personal #sweet #friends #lovenote (Taken with instagram)
Fuck. My. Life. #shwood #snapped #heartache #smh #fml #personal #missgracieface #ouch (Taken with instagram)
Ahhh random appreciation notes from new customers…. Makes my day that much better. #personal #customers #appreciation #kindness #missgracieface (Taken with instagram)
My baby has arrived!!! This day just keeps getting better and better!!! #so #fucking #excited #happy #personal #baby #has #arrived (Taken with instagram)
but I had a great talk (or well.. me talking at least) with @deguzzi tonight. He listened to me rant about my past relationships and my trust/commitment issues. It felt great to get it all out there in the open, and to have someone completely understand why I am the way I am, and why I act the way…
I see it when I go to work, and my customer tells me all about her kids when I ask about her day.
I see it when I go to the store and my cashier tells me how much she also loves the cereal I picked out and what she adds to it in the morning when she eats it.
I see it when I go to class and within the answer to a simple study question, my classmate ends up telling us all about her day job and her thoughts on the specific field she chose.
I see it when a student turns a 5 minute “about me” speech turns into a 30 minute story about her childhood struggles and insecurities.
Everyone just wants to feel like what goes on in their life is important and worth talking about. I feel like when people do little things like that, they’re handing out bits and pieces of themselves and are hoping someone else will think its interesting enough to stop, listen, and maybe even take a bit away with them. They jump at every opportunity to be like, “I know you only asked for this, but please, take a bit of my story, a bit of me with it too.” Maybe they think that will validate their significance.
Maybe people are just kind of lonely.
In today’s day and age, we’re all so connected through our phones, our computers, our published thoughts, feelings, pictures, facebooks, tumblrs, instagrams, internet.. but it’s the basic connection I think we all still crave. A face to face conversation. A smile. A laugh.
I don’t know.. lately I’ve been feeling like we’re all so connected, and all so damn disconnected.